my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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