return my video game
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
