So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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