I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
