i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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