Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize