I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Holy shit dude........stairs
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
