you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
