i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
