So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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