Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
