my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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