Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
my poor anus
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
