The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize