remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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