margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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