He is an equal opportunity slut.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
