we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
