she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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