HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
