He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
