he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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