Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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