I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
