This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
