the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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