How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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