is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
