we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
