Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
