just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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