I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
