My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
