They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
