Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
