if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
