just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
