just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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