I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
