your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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