i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
