so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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