What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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