Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
