Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
how drunk are you?
Several
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
