I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
