Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
