Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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