Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
