it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
