Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
