if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
