So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Randomize
