I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
