I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
