If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
MIDGETS
????
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
