last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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