Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
do nipples grow back?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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