giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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