ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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