So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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