I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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