He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
