Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
