tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
