my mouth tastes like poor choices
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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